#15 Reminder

I know it's not easy to move forward when you yourself is stuck in the past. I was there for a while. Still wondering. "Why?" Was the biggest question in my head. And 'what if' is the biggest wonder I had in my mind. Yes you are okay to have all that thought. It is part of the process of moving on. I know it's painful. But you have to. Or else you never gonna let them or the memories go. 

Yes. I felt lonely. I felt like shit. Actually I felt that long before the end happened. Because our relationship had been on the rock for two years. And we kept coming back to each other and started the process all over again. We already ruined each other. Yes we do loved each other. But finally at the end, I said to myself stop fighting. Stop denying the fact that you two already ruined your souls. Stop this if you really really love him and yourself. 

So I said to myself. I had to go. Had to move on. If you really love someone, their happiness is everything you wanted right? And he's better off without me. I was a huge pain in his ass and will delayed and our toxic relationship will ruin his dreams.I prayed hard to God to give me strength because it was hard. To let go is hard. Especially someone that you consider your soul mate. How can you handle the pain of letting go your other half? The one that you gave up everything for? The one you sacrifice everything without thinking twice? I said to myself, that I will be okay. Believe me only you can support yourself in this. You have to be strong. You CANNOT say you can't. It will destroy you. I learned that the hard way. 

Yes. I love him. Always have and always will but I am moving on. To see the person you love happy is the best thing that can ever happen, I think we both suffered enough. We better off each other. 

I'm in the process. It's normal to have all this thoughts. To accidentally like someone because you so tired of feeling lonely. Yeah. Just walk forward and never look back okay?

Be strong.